Fri, Jan. 15th, 2016, 02:49 pm
's birthday. Hope it's a happy one
Sneaking in under the wire to wish a very happy birthday to the wonderful valyssia
. Hope you had a good day, and wishing you a good year ahead.
Mon, Aug. 27th, 2012, 10:03 am
! Hope it's a good one.
Wed, May. 9th, 2012, 12:36 am
Trying to settle down this week, but nothing much seems to help.
My mother died just a few weeks ago, and I'm finding it very hard to handle. Most of the time it's OK, but then I'll think of her, and just start crying. I think of her and miss her every single day, with or without tears. Most days with tears though. One thing that kills me are all the Mothers Day commercials; it's not just that they make me miss my mother, I don't need them for that, it's that they make me feel so guilty. "Show her how much you care." Did I do that? Did she know? I know I didn't get back to England much in the last few years and I know she wanted me to come. And I didn't go. At least, in the end I did, but it was to her funeral. I feel guilty and sad because I can never make it right.
I seem to be getting past it now, but for a while there my brain was full of fog. I just couldn't think straight about anything. She died unexpectedly, and we thought that the funeral would be the second week after, but then because of the unexpectedness, the coroner wouldn't issue a certificate right away, and we had to wait for an autopsy and tests. So I had to try to get my plane ticket changed--and that was such a nightmare. I spent hours on the phone talking to people in India. I couldn't understand a lot of their questions--not because of their English, but because I just wasn't thinking clearly. When the last one worked with me, he told me that the best price he could give me was $3000, and I broke down and cried. I told him I would have to miss my mother's funeral because I just couldn't afford that. He freaked out, and said it was all because of the airline's rules, tranferred me to Delta and they fixed it in 10 minutes.
I've been reading through some older fics, and one of them was Chiaroscuro by Miss Murchison. Spike reads a poem at the funeral of one the characters, and I really liked it. So when my brother asked if I wanted to do a reading, I immediately thought of that poem. It was the right poem for the moment and for me, so thanks to Miss Murchison for introducing it to me. (Dirge without Music by Edna St. Vincent Millay). My choice of music was Pavane pour une infante défunte by Ravel--we started with that to set the mood; my brother's was Sailing Round the Room by Emmylou Harris--that came in the middle and gave everyone a good cry; and the last was Jarre's Rendezvous (Ron's Piece) that was played for Challenger--that was for her, because she loved science fiction and space so much.
It all worked, it was all good. I know it's right that I am sad, and I know it will take a long time to work through, but I have lost a piece of myself. I'm a little less because I've lost something like a body part; she was such an integral part of me, I took her for granted, and the loss hurts. And one day, walking around living without that part will feel normal, and that will be a sad day too.
Happy birthday, cynesthesia
. I hope you have a great day and year to come. Apologies for not commenting on your recent posts, but you know, I know, about that black hole.
And with the black hole in mind, sorry I missed makd
's birthday. Belated best wishes to you, and to anyone else I've missed.
Sun, May. 1st, 2011, 12:38 pm
She has died, and that's sad. But it makes me sadder to realise how little I thought about her or considered her work in recent years. And sadder still to find out that she was one of the, or maybe the, first to coin the term "slash", and to give serious consideration to what it meant that so many women liked it (of course, back then she was talking Kirk/Spock). How much I missed. And then in her later years she became a BtVS fan. I so want to know now what she thought about Spike and Joss's feminism, and...
I stopped paying attention, and in the process lost something I would have valued greatly.
And for those who've never read it, a link to When It Changed
. It's short, but still packs quite the punch. For me, at least. And that's sad too. It should be quaint--an amusing relic of a bygone past. But it isn't. I don't think it has the impact it did then, but it certainly is still relevant. It's no relic and that past is not as bygone as I would like.
Thu, Apr. 28th, 2011, 10:18 pm
Found out today that Joanna Russ has entered hospice. I'm not sure why I feel so shocked to hear that--I did not know she was ill, and it's not like I've kept up with her life in recent years. I think partly it's because only hearing that made me realise how much her writing had affected me.
Her story When It Changed simply blew me away--I had just discovered Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness, and James Tiptree Jr's short stories and was beginning to think of SF as something that related to me, instead of me having to relate to it. It could be centered on women, and not just view them through the male lens. But When It Changed was like a cry from the heart--something raw and pained and angry--and it demanded that I respond. For some people, it was her The Female Man that had that effect. It certainly was powerful, but it was the short story that I read first, that arrowed right inside me and changed how I viewed a lot of things.
I doubt that someone coming fresh to her work now would experience as much of the power, the rage and the sorrow in it and the effect it had on me. The early seventies were such a different time and looking back I can see that I was practically asleep, unaware of much that now seems obvious. Joanna Russ woke me up, and I will always be glad that she did. She made feminism real to me.
I hope things go well for her, and that her last days are full of light. She lit the light for others and deserves it now.
ETA: Now confirmed that she died today. Sad news. RIP, Joanna.
Fri, Jan. 15th, 2010, 02:39 pm
Happy birthday makd
! Hope it's very happy and healthy for you and yours.
Fri, Jul. 31st, 2009, 09:46 am
Happy birthday to spacenewt
Hope your teeth are better so you can enjoy cake.
Who is your favorite lady detective from movies, books, or TV?
Maisie Dobbs (by Jacqueline Winspear). Well, today she is.
Fri, Feb. 20th, 2009, 10:03 am
Hope your connection problems are resolved soon, and that you have a wonderful day.
Thu, Jan. 15th, 2009, 07:23 pm
Happy birthday makd
! Hope it's very happy and so are all the days to come.
was launched in 1957, the dahlia was made the official flower of San Francisco in 1924, and it was the birthday of Louis X, the Stubborn, king of France, Buster Keaton, and speakr2customrs
Have a great one, speaker
, may your dahlias always be blooming, and satellites sparkle in your sky.
Thu, Jul. 31st, 2008, 11:07 pm
Happy birthday spacenewt
! Hope it's a very happy one.
Wed, Feb. 20th, 2008, 06:46 pm
Happy birthday cynesthesia
! Hope it's a very happy one.